WORLDS OF DESIRE: IDENTITY.

A STATEMENT FROM HANNA AND MANUEL:

Identifying as homosexuals we both had to develop our very own takes on trauma, identity and sense of belonging. The zeitgeist surrounding us in mainstream media paradoxically consists of an overload of rainbow flags and an simultaneous increase of homophobic attacks. The subculture in itself is busy outlining and highlighting their differences, instead of using this energy on finding common ground. Most painfully though, both of us know the feeling of holding a partner’s hand and being verbally abused for it - right in the middle of Berlin.

“How can we change the world out there?”

By using our differences as an advantage. By combining super powers to build a peaceful army. By never shutting the fuck up. We realised that our friendship is based on differences. Hanna the lesbian artist collaborating with Manuel the gay advertiser. Both with their very own views and skill sets. The energy for “worlds of desire” derives out of this unique unity.

MANUEL KLEIN

I was born in Romania in a German minority settlement (“Banater Schwaben”) in 1986. When my dad decided to flee Romania to provide a better life for his family in Germany (I was 2), he picked a small city in Bavaria. While I strongly admire my parents for their bravery to leave everything behind and start an entirely new life in a country that is not particularly welcoming to people who are “different”, coming out in what I like to call “the Texas of Germany” was not easy. However, only possible due to my parents’ unconditional love and some strong friendships. Growing up gay did, nonetheless, not leave me unscarred. The hatred and shame people, especially fellow school kids, were able to lay upon me was on the verge to unbearable. Like so many I worked on my emotional armor. Creating an outer body that seems invincible, yet deeply alone inside. 

When finally done with school I went to London to study Business and Marketing. A city finally allowing me to dwell on my gay side, yet I found myself adapting roles that aim to please. My decision to go back to Germany led me to Berlin. Finishing my master’s degree in Communications and starting my career in Advertising. It is also the time when I met Hanna. Even before sharing our life’s stories we felt a deep connection, assumingly united in painful experiences. We worked hard to overcome our differences, resulting in what now is a brutally open friendship for almost ten years

Collaborating with Hanna as her art work’s copywriter always portrayed a nice contrast to using my skill set in the ad industry. One highlight is her using one of my autobiographical essays in a piece she conducted together with Danielle Pamp in Vienna, who is now also part of our film project. 

Overall speaking my Twenties were fulfilled with the search for meaning. I am very grateful to have found a therapist who guided me through a lot of confusion and pain deriving from the feeling of not being able to belong. My strong interest in the fields of gay sociology and psycholgy made me discover amazing books and films, enabling a sense of “not being the only one undergoing this”: The Velvet Rage (by Alan Downs), Straight Jacket (by Matthew Todd), Rückkehr nach Reims (by Didier Eribon) and Freiheit ist keine Metapher (by Vojin Sasa Vukadinovic) or Praunheim’s movie “Nicht der Homosexeulle ist pervers, sondern die Situation in der er lebt” - just to name a few. 

“Worlds of Desire” is the first project coming out of “Schaich/Klein Production”. It is the result of years of endless discussions in numerous cafes, bars and clubs in Berlin. It is the result of two individual and very differing life journeys, of numerous corrections in the way of thinking about oneself and the communities we belong to. But most importantly it is the result of love and hope. 

It is the attempt to reach out to people at the beginning of their journey. 

It is the attempt to say: you are ok.  It is our contribution to fight everyone who alleges differently. 

I was born in Bregenz, Austria, in 1986, did, however, grow up in Vienna. Daughter of a single mum, who is a strong independent woman, who did not always make it easy for me to live up to her expectations. 

I was confronted with death connected to AIDS when I was a young girl, when a family member got diagnosed as positive in the 90s. After a long and painful path death followed and I experienced the reality of destroyed dreams, a lot of sadness and the loss of freedom. Unfortunately this was only the beginning of a history including (sexual) abuse, drugs, sex-work, rape and a lot of lonely and hopeless nights. But deep down there was always a huge will to survive - and I did! AND!!! Now I am stronger than ever. A lot has or had to do with the help and support of my (chosen) family, friends, an amazing female therapist and the decision to be completely open and talk. All this made me become the person I am now: strong, fragile, vulnerable, curious, loving, caring, looking for extremes and being grateful about all the highs and lows life has to offer. 

A new chapter started when I got accepted into Art School in Berlin in 2009. The people and the city opened up so many possibilities. It gave me the space to explore myself, my needs, desires, my lust. I tested boundaries, jumped high, fell low but always on soft ground. I promised myself to not be quiet about my past and included it into my art. Around the same time I met Manuel. A man I feel so deeply connected with. I feel safe to explore, cry, go wild, be completely open with him and allow myself to take down the bricks and stones that I built up for protection. Not only did he make me stronger, said that it is OK and it’s gonna be ALRIGHT - be as you are. I guess the beauty in our relationship is that we give each other the space to grow.

My journey led me from Berlin over the ocean to New York City, where I gratefully found my path as an artist and artists that I look up to, that inspire me, give me hope and confidence - dead or alive. Just to name a few: Barbara Hammer, Janet Biggs, Adrian Piper, Annie Sprinkle, Carolee Schneemann, Zoe Leonard, Ron Athey, Terry Berkowitz, Patricia Cronin, Guerrilla Girls, David Wojnarowicz, Félix González-Torres, …

Art as a means of expression became existential for me. I think within the arts we can change perspectives, open up a dialogue, unite, find solutions, partners, hope, love, anger, the poetry of existence, we even sometimes find answers and strangers we did not even know existed. I believe in communication, honesty, sensibility, losing, finding, being scared, being open to that never ending search, I guess in short: Humanity. And that is what I find in the relationship and collaboration with Manuel, as the base of our piece is connected to our talks, silence, fights, nights and days we danced away, our tears, laughs, our weaknesses, our strengths, our insecurities, our bravery and our love - the heart of Worlds of Desire. 

But most importantly this trilogy is for you: the lost and the found ones, the different ones, the open ones, the secure and insecure ones, the fragile, the angry and the brave ones, the loving and the caring ones, ... it is about uniting, finding, failing, losing (yourself), gaining strength and power. I hope with the film you find yourselves in moments, you can relate to, find the space to grow, feel lust and see and feel the potential and the beauty in otherness! We wish for you to never get rid of yourself or swallow down your tears, reach out, ask for help! Be as sensible and fragile as you are, because at the end of the day the people who love you will define you as “wunderbar”. Don’t believe the labels others put upon you. You can be everything you want to be! 

Love, Hanna